


Ren

by OrionRedde, Shyrstyne



Series: Cometverse [43]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Werecreatures, Found Family, Gen, Original Nonbinary Character - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 17:39:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19178182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OrionRedde/pseuds/OrionRedde, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shyrstyne/pseuds/Shyrstyne
Summary: Something’s been on Vanitas’ mind for a while.





	Ren

  Vanitas snickers as Roxas and Xion squabble, getting sauce all over each other as they throw napkins and sauce packets. He totally doesn’t keep them supplied with more packets of ketchup, totally doesn’t. He gleefully bites into his hamburger, savoring the pickles and mustard. 

  “Alright, kids, break it up,” Comet laughs, setting their plate between his and the twins’. “You’re getting sauce all over the place.”

  “Sorry,” the terrible twosome mumbles, automatically grabbing napkins and getting started on cleaning their mess. Comet turns to him. Vanitas smiles innocently at them, chewing smugly. They tilt their head at him.

  “Hang on, Van, you got something…” They say. They absent-mindedly lick their thumb and, before Vanitas can ask what they’re doing, wipe something off of his cheek. “There, got it. Xion, you are  _ covered  _ in ketchup, c’mere.”

  “Awww,  _ Ren!”  _ Xion whines as they wipe off Xion’s face. 

  Meanwhile, Vanitas’ brain has frozen. His memory casts back to gestures like this he’s seen between adults and children. Is this something significant? He feels like it is. And what kind of name are Roxas and Xion calling Comet? What’s a “Ren”?

  He’s heard the word before, many times even, but somehow this time it sticks out to him, and he wants to know more.

  He waits until Comet goes back downstairs to the bar.

  “Why do you call Comet ‘Ren’?” Vanitas asks, crouched next to Xion as the twins set up a game of checkers.

  “Because they’re our Ren!” Xion chirps. “I think it’s short for ‘parent’?”

  “What’s a parent?” Vanitas asks, no longer ashamed of not knowing something.

  “They’re adults who take care of you!” Roxas joins in. “They make sure you’re okay and help you grow up!”

  “And helps you learn and is  _ always  _ there for you,” Xion finishes with a firm nod. Vanitas gets the feeling they’re quoting somebody. “Like Lea and Comet are! Except Lea is a ‘dad’ because he’s a guy, and women are ‘moms’!”

  “....okay?” Is all Vanitas can say to that. The explanation isn’t very satisfactory, but he figures that the twins just… straight up don’t know. He’ll see if Sora is available to ask. Vanitas shoots off a text to his sorta-kinda brother and receives an enthusiastic “YES!!! :D” in reply.

  “I’m gonna go see Sora,” he announces to the twins.

  “Tell him we say hi,” Roxas mumbles, already absorbed in trying to thrash an increasingly smug Xion at checkers.

  “Tell him yourself!” Said Champion of Checkers laughs. Vanitas rolls his eyes fondly and warps away.

  He appears inside the cargo hold of Sora’s greatly expanded Gummi Ship.

  “Van!” Said brother cheers, bouncing up to him. “I’m so glad to see you! Me and Riku and Kairi are hanging out in the upper deck with some hot chocolate if you wanna join us.”

  “Sure,” Vanitas finds himself saying. “But I can’t stay long. I promised Comet I’d help with the bar tonight.”

  “Not a problem,” Sora says, leading the way. “Hey, guys! Van’s here!”

  “Hi, Van!” Kairi chirps from where she’s snuggled in a blanket on the couch, steaming mug of chocolate in her hands. “Sit wherever!” 

  Riku lifts his hand in a short wave from where he’s buried in a pile of pillows. Vanitas snorts in amusement and settles down in an armchair. Sora appears at his side with another mug of hot chocolate in his hand. Vanitas takes it with a raised eyebrow and a “...thanks” and sips it. 

  “So what’s up?” Sora asks, plopping down on the couch next to Kairi.

  “What’s a ‘ren’ and why do Roxas and Xion call Comet that,” Vanitas says bluntly. “And I know that it’s short for ‘parent’ and that men are ‘dads’ and women are ‘moms’, but what are  _ those?”  _

  “Asking the hard questions today,” Riku quips from his pillow pile, sitting up. “What brought this on?”

  “They did the thing where they lick their thumb and wipe sauce off my face,” Vanitas tells him. “They do it a lot to Roxas and Xion, too, and I’ve seen other adults do it to kids. And the twins call Comet ‘ren’ all the time, but like… I don’t know…” Vanitas trails off, frustrated and unable to find the words to describe what’s happening. “I’m just… getting mixed messages about all this.”

  “Well… do they take care of you?” Sora asks.

  “Yeah,” Vanitas drawls, the  _ duh  _ left sealed behind his teeth.

  “Do they heal your ouches?” Sora continues. “Listen to you? Feed you, shelter you, and teach you? Do they remember your favorite foods? Do they-”

  “I think he gets the point, Sora,” Kairi laughs, stopping him before he gains too much steam. “Point is, Comet's basically adopted you, but they would _ never  _ push you into calling them Ren if you weren’t comfortable with it.”

  “...what’s adoption?” Vanitas asks.

  “What Comet did to you,” Sora replies instantly. Riku smacks Sora’s knee.

  “Sora,” the older boy huffs.

  “Well, like me and  _ my _ parents. They didn’t make me, but they took me in and raised me and accepted me as their daughter,” Kairi tries to explain.

  Vanitas’ brain stalls.

  “You can…  _ make  _ people?” Vanitas whispers, something like  _ horror  _ and  _ what the fuuuuck  _ rising in his chest. The other kids stare at him, just as terrified but for a different reason.

  “You should ask Comet that,” Riku says.

  “Yeah, ask your Ren,” Sora giggles.

  “ _ Guys! _ ” Kairi chides. “ _ Anyway!  _ Comet sees you as their tiny human to take care of. They love you very much, and they’d do  _ anything  _ for you. That’s what parents  _ do.” _

_   “ _ Good ones, anyway.” Riku mutters, barely audible. 

  “...alright,” Vanitas concedes, drinking all of his hot chocolate in one go. “Thanks for the chocolate, and answering my questions. Roxas and Xion say hi, by the way.”

  “Not a problem,” Riku hums. “Thanks for stopping by.”

 

  Vanitas keeps this information in mind as he observes the people around him. He takes careful note of how certain adults interact with kids that follow them around, gripping their hands and answering questions and putting bandaids on hurts.

  One day, Kaze visits the bar with Sora in tow.

  The visit is short and sweet, Comet and Kaze sharing a wine while he and Sora try to thrash each other at a fighting game on the TV. Kaze cheerfully teases her son, trading barbs and jokes, reaching over occasionally to ruffle his hair. She even brings Sora a plate of food that she made, Sora exclaiming that it’s his favorite. Comet does the same to Vanitas, bringing him something he mentioned he liked a few weeks back. Vanitas thanks them automatically, taking the plate and trying not to show  _ how much  _ this is affecting him.

  Kaze and Sora take their leave a few hours later, still teasing each other and knocking into each other and just… just  _ being.  _ Affection. Openness. Respect.

  Vanitas recognizes the same behavior in Comet with Roxas and Xion.

  With him.

  Now he knows what a mom is, what a  _ parent  _ is, and he can’t help but connect these lines between him and Comet.

  The lighthearted teasing.

  The respect.

  The care.

  Making his favorite food, asking after his day, making sure he has clean clothes, teaching him things, remembering his favorites, openly and honestly giving affection and trust and expecting nothing back.

  Comet… Comet sees him as  _ their own.  _

  Vanitas stares up at the ceiling of his room, sprawled over his bed, and tries to breathe through the thought. Comet sees him as  _ theirs.  _ Not like Xehanort did. Not as… as a  _ thing.  _ As a  _ tool.  _ As a  _ monster  _ to be aimed. No, they see him like… like Kaze sees Sora. Like Lea sees Roxas and Xion.

  Like parents and their kids.

  Vanitas gets up from bed, carefully remakes the blankets, and crawls into his closet nest, too unsettled to sleep in the bed, tonight. It… it isn’t a  _ bad  _ thing, he decides. He just doesn’t know what to think of it. Doesn’t know what their reaction would be if… if he put a name to what they are to him.

  Parent.

  Ren.

  Comet is… Comet is a Ren. To Roxas and Xion.

  To Vanitas.

  Vanitas bites down on a blanket and holds back a scream, suddenly emotional. A Ren. Stars above, he’s got a Ren and he’s not sure if they want to be. Maybe it’s just habit? No, Roxas and Xion were barely home when he was given his room, but they called them “Ren” long before he even thought of something like that. Old demons claw at the back of his mind, but he beats them back. No, they aren’t manipulating him. They barely have a manipulative bone in their body. They… they  _ care _ . They care a lot, and…

  Vanitas will have to think more on this.

 

  He thinks about it for  _ months.  _

  The subject cycles in and out of his mind, especially as he wanders the worlds, observing people and places who don’t know who he is. Watches moms and dads and rens fuss and play with their kids, watching over them, caring for them. And every time he comes home Comet is there with a smile, a hair ruffle if he wants it, and food. They ask him questions about the worlds he visits, listening attentively to his stories and remembering details from previous conversations. 

  He knows they were a little reticent about him wandering again, after.. Well after he’d almost died, but eventually they relent. He promises to take more care, check in often, and bring more potions with him just in case. He can tell it doesn’t allay their worry entirely, but they know they can’t keep him trapped here either and so they let him go.

  This only serves to cement that they care, in his mind. Only adds to the near constant whispering of  _ Ren, Ren, they’re my Ren  _ in his heart.

  But… he doesn’t know if he deserves this. Deserves a Ren.

  It slips out one day.

  Vanitas casually hops down the stairs, geared up for a day checking out a black spot in the Gummispace Maps. He stops by the bar counter to say goodbye to Re- to Comet. Comet holds up a hand to stop him, and hands him a small ice cooler.

  “Made you a lunch!” They tell him, grinning brightly. Adira, a now-familiar regular, snorts fondly into her cup. Vanitas immediately opens the cooler and takes in the contents. A pastrami, turkey, provolone, and pickles sub sandwich - his favorite - is wrapped tightly in plastic, nestled in with a small container of chips, a container of grapes, yet another container holding two cookies, and a thermos of what can only be some sort of chilled drink. Something warm fizzles in his chest as he closes the cooler, placing it in his inventory space.

  “Cool, thanks, Comet,” he says, trotting towards the door.

  “Have a good day!” Comet calls after him. “Be safe out there!”

  “I will!” He calls back, pushing open the door. “Bye, Ren!”

  The door closes behind him.

  Vanitas makes it halfway to his usual warping spot until it hits him.

  He just called Comet “Ren”.

_ He just called Comet “Ren”. _

_   HE JUST CALLED COMET “REN”. _

__ Vanitas  _ sprints  _ the rest of the way and, after a curt and desperate tug to figure out where Sora is, warps. He sprints through Sora’s ship until he finds him.

  “I JUST CALLED COMET ‘REN’ ON ACCIDENT!!” Vanitas bellows the moment he sees his brother. Sora, mouth open to greet Vanitas, freezes, then grins broadly and brightly.

  “Is that Van?” Kairi calls from another room.

  “HE CALLED COMET ‘REN’!” Sora crows.

  “ON ACCIDENT!” Vanitas clarifies, feeling panic set in.

  “Aww, Van!” Kairi cooes, walking into the living room with Riku following. “That’s wonderful!”

  “No, it isn’t!” Vanitas cries, tears pricking at his eyes as  _ emotion  _ wells up from his chest. “I didn’t  _ mean  _ to and- and-!” Vanitas chokes on a sob, knees wobbling. Sora immediately drags him down to sit on the couch, curling around his distressed brother and purring. Vanitas shudders, tears leaking over his cheeks as he tries to  _ pull himself together, dammit.  _

  “What if- what if they don’t  _ want  _ me?!” Vanitas manages. “What if I just fucked up? What if they didn’t mean any of that- that shit?”

  Sora nuzzles against Vanitas’ head, purring louder. Kairi curls up on Van’s other side, adding her own purring to the mix, resting her head on his shoulder. Riku drags over the ottoman and sits in front of Vanitas, resting a hand on the distressed boy’s ankle.

  “You feel like you don’t deserve it, right?” Riku asks after a moment.

  Vanitas takes another moment to answer.

  “...yeah,” he croaks out.

  “And that one day they’ll see how horrible you are and leave you in the dirt like the trash you think you are, right?”

  “... _ yeah, _ ” Vanitas answers, choking on more tears. Sora mews and starts grooming Vanitas’ hair, tongue changed to get a better grip on the dark locks.

  “But…” Riku continues, looking Vanitas in the eyes. “You  _ also  _ know that none of these thoughts are true.” Vanitas only nods, not trusting himself to speak. “And that it’s never about deserving - love isn’t earned, but freely given.”

  “...yeah,” Vanitas whispers, going limp, accepting Riku’s words. Riku hums and squeezes his ankle once before releasing him. Kairi reaches out to take Riku’s hand with a soft smile, one he returns readily.

  “Do you want me to let Comet know you’re here?” Sora offers, still purring comfortingly.

  “No, I…” Vanitas hesitates. “I… need to go home and- and talk to them?”

  “That’s a good place to start,” Kairi encourages him, taking his hand with her free one and squeezing it. “Whenever you’re ready, okay?”

  “Okay,” Vanitas whispers. Sora chirrups and buries his face in Vanitas’ neck. Vanitas stays with the trio for the rest of the day, trying desperately to pull himself together. He almost bursts into tears again when he brings out the tiny cooler, pressing his hand against his eyes while Sora squeezes his other hand encouragingly.

  “It’s probably about time for Comet to close by now, if you want to talk to them privately,” Kairi murmurs after a few hours. “I’m not kicking you out!” She hastens to clarify. “Just trying to help you with your gameplan.”

  “I think…” Vanitas says. “I think I’ll go ahead and warp home, but I’ll wait until the morning to talk to them. Clear heads, y’know?”

  “You got this, Van!” Sora cheers, squeezing Vanitas’ shoulder.

  “Everything will be alright,” Riku tells him.

  They give him some space, and Vanitas warps home.

 

  He appears in his bathtub, but thankfully manages to keep his balance.

  “Why the  _ bathtub, _ ” he mutters angrily. “Why is it  _ always  _ the  _ bathtub?”  _

  Vanitas quietly gets ready for bed and crawls into the closet, knowing he’ll need the extra sense of safety to actually  _ sleep  _ tonight. Sleep itself evades him for a few more hours before he eventually conks out. His anxiety dreams that night are  _ awful _ , and he wakes up with tear tracks on his cheeks and crust in his eyes. Vanitas hurriedly washes his face with cool water, willing the puffiness to go down.

  Okay.

  Okay, he can do this.

  Vanitas edges out of his room, nervous as all hell. Judging by the smell of coffee, Comet is already awake. He pads down the stairs, not caring about the creaking of the wood. He pauses at the doorway, peeking in. Comet is leaning on the counter by the coffeemaker, mug clutched to their chest. They look up when he steps in.

  “...Comet?” Vanitas says, throat tight and eyes hot and lungs failing. He realizes that he’s trembling, shoulders tensing.

_ Are you mad?  _ Is left unsaid.

_ Should I go?  _ Tastes like acid in his throat.

_ Do you not want me?  _ Makes him feel like he’s about to pour out an Unversed.

  And Comet…

  Comet  _ smiles  _ at him, a soft, creased, trembling smile, eyes shiny and wet and crinkled up with the force of their  _ joy.  _

_   Their joy at seeing him. _

__ Vanitas feels the breath get knocked out of him.

  “Welcome home, Van,” they tell him, voice gentle and raw and open. Vanitas feels his face crumple and the next thing he knows he’s running forward and arms encircle him as he buries his face into their shoulder. He feels them press their face into his hair, trembling just as much as he is.

  “I’m  _ so  _ glad you’re  _ home,”  _ Comet chokes, voice thick. Vanitas sobs, suddenly overwhelmed. He’s  _ home. He’s home!  _ He has a  _ home!  _ He has a Home and a Ren and they  _ missed  _ him. It’s just… so strange and wonderful. And he has to tell them, tell them that he feels safe and cared for and that he lo- he  _ trusts  _ them but he can’t get the words out and-

  Comet presses a kiss into his hair.

  “You can call me ‘Ren’ if you want,” they murmur quietly, pressing their cheek to the top of his head.

  “...okay, Ren,” Vanitas mumbles, feeling like a newborn fawn, stepping forward into something new on unsteady legs.

  Comet squeezes him a little. Instead of his usual panic at being trapped, Vanitas  _ melts  _ into the hug, squeezing back. He can  _ taste  _ the affection, the  _ love  _ in this action. It makes him want to  _ cry.  _ He hides his face in their shirt, ignoring the heat behind his eyes. 

  “You wanna help make breakfast?” Comet asks, threading gentle fingers through his hair. 

  “...pancakes?” Vanitas asks,  _ hopes.  _

  Comet gently ruffles his hair, gently digging their nails into his scalp. Vanitas closes his eyes,  _ reveling  _ in the contact.

_ “Anything  _ for you, kiddo,” Comet tells him gently, seriously,  _ sincerely.  _

  And for the first time…

  Vanitas  _ believes  _ it.

**Author's Note:**

> YO, SHY AND I HAVE BEEN SO EXCITED FOR THIS Y’ALL DON’T EVEN KNOW


End file.
